Anything new or outside normal routines can make children anxious, maybe even afraid. They are no different than adults in reluctance to try new things, but children have fewer positive experiences to build their confidence and courage. The image below, taken from the Engage Kids September Newsletter (https://mailchi.mp/engagekidz/help-kids-to-try-new-things?e=82436aab64), provides some useful suggestions.
We have all heard children say things like, “I can’t” “I’m afraid” “What if I mess up” or “Too many people will be watching”. (We have those same thoughts when we need to try something new.). It’s tempting to just respond to their fear by saying:
- Don’t be afraid.
- It will be OK.
- It’s not a big deal.
- Other people have done it.
We might be able to get them through the event with those words, but it might backfire into a flood of emotions. As the poster suggests, there are better steps you can take with your child to build their confidence and reinforce their courage.
- Talk to them about their previous successes. Go beyond saying, “You did it, good job”. Ask them how they feel after they succeeded and how they felt before they tried. Help them understand that the rewards of success are much larger than the risk they feared before they tried.
- Remind the child that this new success is just one among others. The “I Can Jar” helps. Put a dated note in the jar for each new accomplishment. (Notes are better than money or marbles, etc. because the child can go back are read the notes when they need a boost of confidence.)
- You can also create a poster or scroll to list and memorialize new accomplishments. As the list grows, so will the child’s confidence.
- School-age children may want to keep a journal of their accomplishments. Journal entries can capture the child’s feelings before and after the accomplishment. As the child grows into adulthood, the journal will be a continuing source of satisfaction and inspiration to boost “adult confidence”.
Keep in mind that the goal is to encourage children to try new things, and the celebration is for trying. Don’t expect perfection in everything they try, and don’t show disappointment when they try something new and they don’t like it. The goal is to build confidence and courage to try …… without anxiety.
